Isakson Family: January 2015

Dear Baby G,                                                                                     July 10, 2014

We haven't decided on a name for you yet. I have made lists and lists of names. Names like: Liam, Jude, Bingham, Ethan, Maxwell, Damion, Julian, August, Ulisses, Quinton, Sawyer, Holden and Gunnar. Your dad and I keep crossing names off and I keep adding new ones. I have a feeling you are going to be a Gunnar, but we'll see.   We know for sure that we want your middle name to be Ted. It's a special name, one that I hope you will love and honor as you grow. It is your Dad's Grandpa's name. Your Great-Grandpa Ted. Grandma Becky's Dad. He is a special man. From the first time I met him I have always regarded him as a good man and gentle man. He is kind and thoughtful. He is hard working and very genuine. I'm sure your Dad will have many stories to tell you about him as you grow.

This pregnancy has been different, in so many ways. I feel like the chaos of our everyday life has somehow kept me from documenting my pregnancy with you the way that I intended to do. This is my attempt to catch up and write about you.

I wanted you so badly. It felt like it took forever for you to come, we tried for over a year. I know that for some couples that is not a long time, but for us it is and it felt long to me. I struggled month after month taking pregnancy tests with high hopes only to find out that it wasn't time, not yet. Though it was hard, I always had a calming reassurance that when the time was right you would join our family.

We moved to Brasilia, Brazil in September and things were a little crazy. I was emotional with all of the changes going on. We finally got into our house, after two months living in the hotel and on a whim I decided to buy a pregnancy test. I didn't know the word for it so actually getting the test at the pharmacy was kind of funny.

I went right home and took it. I remember not having too high of hopes because of all of the times for it to be the right time, this didn't really feel like it. Life was crazy and I was emotional already and heaven knows what pregnancy would add to that. I was shocked when I saw the result. I was overjoyed. I was ecstatic. I remember it was Saturday, November 17th. We had a ball to go to that night. I usually tell your dad in some creative way, but I was too overwhelmed to wait another second. I wanted him to know right away. I walked into the kitchen where he and Madeline were at and handed him the positive test. He was so excited. Madeline wanted to know what it was and what was going on. We told her and gave her strict instructions to not tell anyone. We later found out that she went to school on that following Monday and announced the happy news to her entire class.

A few days before I knew I was pregnant, I had gone to the embassy medical clinic and was diagnosed with strep throat. The doctor gave me a shot of penicillin. A few days after I found out I was pregnant, I broke out in a red rash from my scalp to my toes. It was horrible and only got worse at time went on. I looked like I had chicken pox. After a lot of testing, they determined that I am allergic to penicillin. Though, that diagnosis was never really conclusive. It left a lot of worries up in the air. The rash was itchy and ugly and made me very uncomfortable. As awful as I felt, the thing that worried me most was what if any effects it might have on you. My little growing baby. I worried about how it might affect you in the early stages of pregnancy. It was stressful and I felt extremely emotional and worried about you. They couldn't treat the rash until after the first trimester. Once I hit the second trimester, I was given some steroids and it cleared right up.

Shortly after, we had your first ultrasound. We went to the hospital of Brasilia and I was very anxious and very nervous. I just wanted to know that you were okay and that you were developing normally. I will never forget the relief I felt when the technician said that everything looked normal. Normal has never sounded so wonderful to me.

I was nauseous and throwing up for the first two trimesters. Throwing up, a whole lot. Pretty much everything I ate came up. Pickles have never tasted so good.  Bacon always tastes good to me when I am pregnant. I didn't have any real cravings but many foods tasted either really salty or really sweet. My right leg was black and blue all the way down from varicose veins. I couldn't stand very long without experiencing a lot of pain.

You got the hiccups frequently. I loved it. I loved to feel you bouncing in my belly. You were a kicker. You liked to kick way down low and you frequently woke me up in the middle of the night. I loved going to my appointments and hearing your heart beat. I loved feeling you move inside my womb. I was constantly worried about your safety and those little movements gave me frequent breaks from worry and allowed me to wonder and be thankful for the life that was growing inside me.

The medical process in Brasilia was a little frustrating and different. I did a LOT of blood work and a lot of glucose testing. After some frustration, I switched doctors and it was determined that I had gestational diabetes. I was able to control it by diet. I didn't eat rice, pasta, bread or sweets. I resorted to eating a lot of eggs, veggies, berries and yogurt. I wasn't perfect, and occasionally would have a little treat here and there. At times I felt grumpy watching everyone around me eat yummy food, but it was worth it to have you healthy.

We had a few ultrasounds to make sure you were healthy and growing at a good rate. Every time, they said you were perfect. All of us went (except Madeline - she was in school) to find out if you were a boy or a girl. I wanted you to be a girl because Madeline really wanted a sister, but I had a feeling that you were a boy. Sure enough, a boy! Lucas and Jonas were thrilled. Madeline bawled her eyes out when we told her, but she eventually warmed up to the idea.

Eventually around 36 weeks I had to go back to the United States because of pregnancy travel restrictions.  It would have been fun to have you be born in Brazil, but because of timing it just wouldn't work out. Your dad had to stay in Brasilia for another month for work. I was so worried he was going to miss your birth. Once I got to the states, I found a great doctor. The gestational diabetes was under control and he had no concerns.

Around 38 weeks I went in for my routine visit and after feeling my belly, Dr. Yamashiro suggested that we do a sonogram because he was concerned that you were breech. Sure enough, there you were breech in my belly. He suggested that we do a procedure where they would try to turn you by pressing on my belly. We scheduled that for the next day.

I went back to Grandma Terri's house in tears. I was so stressed out. This pregnancy was by far the most stressful and unpredictable of all of my pregnancies. I wished that your dad was with me. I felt nervous about the possibility of a C-section. I cried. I was scared. I just wanted you here, safe and sound. I felt like I needed a priesthood blessing and wished that your dad was near so he could give me one. Since he wasn't, I turned to my Uncle Jeff. He has given me blessings over the course of my life and I felt so much gratitude that he was there and willing to do it. He came over with our friend Dallin Olsen. It was a special experience for me. I was given a blessing in my Grandpa's office. A place where I have received many special blessings and words of counsel from my Grandpa White. A man who was more like a father to me than a grandfather. As I sat down and those good men placed their hands on my head, I felt the presence of my grandpa. I knew he was there. The words of the blessing were so beautiful and exactly what I needed to hear.   I felt like all of the concerns and stresses that I felt during this pregnancy were put to ease. I heard words of comfort that everything was going to be okay, words of reassurance that your dad would make it in time. After the blessing I felt a calm reassurance that if a C-section was necessary, it would all turn out fine.

I am so thankful for the priesthood in my life. I have been blessed so many times by inspired words when hands have been placed on my head. I know that Heavenly Father is the author of all blessings. I know that the words that are spoken in priesthood blessings are inspired and given to help us and carry us. I am so thankful that your dad is a worthy priesthood holder. I am so happy that you will come into a home where the priesthood will bless your life.

The next morning I went in to St. Mark's hospital to have a Version. A very painful method for trying to externally turn a breech baby. It hurt. At one point Dr. Yamashiro had you completely turned and in a split second, you flipped right back around. That morning, I had a feeling that you needed to be born via C-section. I felt calm about it. I had some natural worries, but I knew that the Lord was in control of the situation and that we were both going to be fine.

We scheduled a C-section for the following Saturday. Your feet were right down low, so I was told that it was very important that I come to the hospital as soon as I experienced any signs of labor to prevent you from getting down into the birth canal.

I want you to know how much I love you. We haven't officially met yet, but my heart is bursting with love for you my sweet baby. I cannot wait to hold you. I cannot wait to feel your little fingers wrap around mine. I can't wait to put my hand on your chest and feel your little breaths. I can't wait to wrap you in love. I can't wait to look into those beautiful, clear baby eyes. I am so thankful that you are coming to our family. You are truly so wanted and so loved.

Now it's time to sit back and wait for Daddy to get to Utah.

I love you so much,
Mommy

A few pregnancy pictures...