A Melissa Suite

Before I get into this I just wanted you readers to know (after a recent conversation with my friend Katie) that I put lots and lots of nothings on our blog because it is primarily for us to remember what we were up to. Everything on this little blog will eventually be copied off and put in a book for us to keep. So, keep on reading but don't get annoyed with my nothings or my way too personal to share posts. ha ha ha

Alright, I am not complaining. I am just merely sharing my experiences. I am in the never-ending recovery. I had the D&C and started to feel better and then just a few days ago the pain was back, along with a few other things....so....

Today I went to the doctor again. I walked in the front door and one of the nurses said, "I keep telling them we need to get a Melissa suite." Everyone there knows me by name....bad sign. Anyway, they did an ultrasound and all of the above to try to figure out what is wrong with me and I turns out I have a "mystery" spot.

It could be a cyst but a cyst wouldn't cause all of the pain I am having. It could be an infection, but my white blood count is completely normal. So...I got a big old shot of antibiotics and will be on antibiotics for the next few days while crossing my fingers that it all clears up. If it doesn't, then it sounds like I will have to go in and they will have to go inside and find out what it is. I have another appointment on Wednesday to see where everything is at, but like my doctor said, "It all just kind of has me scratching my head." It's so weird and doesn't make sense and well...you get the idea.

I am so completely worn out physically and emotionally. My poor Jimmy. I have never in my life cried so easily. It's just so frustrating to start to feel good again and to just go back to square one or negative one. I'm trying to have a positive attitude but I'm worn out. I just want to be able to stand to brush my teeth or make dinner or make it through more than just sacrament meeting on Sundays. Sigh. Am I being a baby? Don't answer that.

For now I will just cross my fingers and hope that I don't end up back in the hospital....that would really be crummy.

Fourth of July BBQ

Hey Everyone! This is an invitation to anyone who wants to come. On the fourth of July we are having a BBQ at our house at 2:00 p.m. and then afterwards we're all heading up to the festivities on Fort Rucker.

We are doing a bring your own whatever you want to grill and something to share. We'll have drinks and a bunch of other yummy stuff.

Comment on the blog or call or e-mail me to let me know if you are coming so we can know about how many to plan on.

After the fireworks we'll be heading back to our house for even more fireworks and some dessert or something. It just wouldn't be the fourth of July if Jimmy didn't get to light his own fireworks. We have a bunch of different kinds, guaranteed to entertain....especially if it is anything like last year.

Time to Kill...

Jimmy is at work, Madeline is asleep, and I am avoiding cleaning my house...so here I am blogging...again.

This is the house we are renting in Daleville. It's a nice little old house. We are happy to be living in it for the next few months.

Should you wake a sleeping baby? How long should you let that sleeping baby sleep? What is the right answer to this question? I'm confused!

I just have to say that I love being a mom. Absolutely love it. Today was the first day that Madeline actually seemed like she was looking at me and responding to me. I sat and talked to her for a while and she smiled and smiled and smiled. It's heaven I tell you. I am so thankful to have such a perfect little girl. My favorite thing in the whole world is to watch her and her daddy together....boy do I love them!

Alright, I don't have anything to blog about so I will end this here. It was worth a try though...

Okay, with everything that has happened to me in the past month I haven't exactly been "functional." Well, I am feeling much better and yesterday I made dinner. (It has been a long while since I have made dinner) When I told Jimmy that I made dinner his reply was, "Are you back?" It made me laugh, even today. Yes sweetie, I am back.

Random Stuff

I can't believe it is already the end of June! Where has the time gone? By the end of July Jimmy will be finishing the Chinook course and we may be finding out our next place of residency. How exciting!

Things around our house have quieted down a bit. Jimmy's parents are now on their cruise in Norway, Jimmy is busy studying, Madeline is sleeping, Boo & Ashes are outside playing, and I am sitting here. I haven't been to church for over a month and today we made it through Sacrament meeting and Sunday School before my body said take me home. I'm trying not to let it frustrate me but sometimes it does. I can't wait to feel good again.

We have such wonderful neighbors. Before we leave I will have to go over and take a picture of them. They are a retired military couple, Al and Carolyn. Yesterday they invited us over for ribs and it was yummy! We're so glad to have them next door.

I'm just rambling, mostly because I don't have anything better to do and I want to feel like I am doing something so you get this dumb post....on to the pictures.

These are just some random pictures....


Madeline & Mommy


Ready for church.


Just the three of us...and the other two that are running around crazy somewhere....




My husband is so funny. I am convinced that he is the biggest sports fan in the world. He missed a game in the Euro Cup Soccer Tournament that was later replayed...so to avoid seeing the score (look closely) he taped some paper over the bottom of the television. I sure love him and his creative ideas. Here's a better look at his craftsmanship...






The other day Jimmy was going to help me give Madeline a bath...which he often does. Anyway, I went to grab the bath stuff and came into the kitchen to find Madeline laying on the food tray. It made me laugh so I had to take a picture.


Beautiful baby. I love those big eyes!




Madeline 2 weeks old


Madeline's two week check-up where she gained a pound and three ounces and grew one and a half inches.


Fun in the sun at the Khuni's swimming party.


My mom, me and Madeline's cute ruffles


Wide-eyed Madeline

Chinooks

This picture has nothing to do with Chinooks...it's just one of the few of the three of us together so I thought I would throw it in.



The other morning we (Me, Madeline, Becky, and Larry) snuck out to the field where the Chinooks take off. It was really fun. Supposedly you're not supposed to go out there and take pictures but we took our chances. We tried to be sneaky but I'm sure that by the 20th time the same blue CRV passed by someone had to be suspicious, not to mention the cameras hanging out the windows.

We were successful though and made out with some great shots of the Chinook taking off and hovering. It is amazing to me that Jimmy flies that thing. It's so huge! Good job sweetie! I think it's pretty darn impressive.

One Month

Madeline is one month old today! Where did the time go? She's hardly a newborn anymore.

These are a few of my favorite things that she does up to this point...

I love it when she is super tired and starting to doze off because she smiles and smiles and smiles.

I love her spaz attacks. She has these when she really wants something. She will thrash her arms around and kick her legs uncontrollably. It is really funny to watch.

I love the sounds she makes. Her cute little sighs, the grunts, the loud noises she makes while eating, the random screams. I could listen to her for hours.

She's a stretcher. It seems like she is always stretching.

I love the faces she pulls. She has a natural talent for pulling some pretty funny faces.

I love that she has discovered her tongue. She likes to stick it out all the time.

I love that when she sleeps she likes her arms above her head.

I love how she loves to kick all of the blankets off of her. No matter how tightly I have her wrapped she somehow manages to get her little arms and legs out.

These are just a few of the things we love about our little Madeline. I can't believe how much she has changed in the first month already. It's exciting but also sad...why can't she stay so tiny a tad bit longer???

Home Sweet Home

We finally came home from the hospital on Tuesday and being home is wonderful. Since I had the physical breakdown I figured it was about time for an emotional breakdown. There is just something about laying in my own bed and having a good cry at times like these that is theraputic. Now that all of that is behind me, everyday I am feeling better. The pain still hurts but it's manageable and when it's not my doctor was kind enough to give me a prescription. I think the worst part of it for me has been that I haven't felt well since having Madeline and so I don't feel like I have been able to be a wonderful mother for the first month of her life. I am trying but sometimes my body limits me and that is hard for me to accept. Hopefully the pain will be gone in the next few days and I will be back to myself.



I woke up early the other morning to feed Madeline and just felt so thankful for her. She is a miracle and I love being her mommy. It is amazing to me, the happiness that she has brought into my life. I thought I couldn't possibly have any more happiness but I am just overflowing with it. I love her with all of my mommy heart. She is absolutely perfect.



I also feel so thankful for Jimmy's parents. We didn't know that I was going to be in the hospital when they planned their trip to come and see us. We were supposed to be at home enjoying the baby. They came to the hospital everyday, Becky stayed overnight with me, they have kept my house clean, they have kept us fed, they have helped us take care of Madeline, they have helped us take care of the puppies. I am just so thankful for them and for all of their help. I don't think I could have made it through this little ordeal without them. Thank you.



I am also thankful for wonderful family and friends. Thank you for checking up on me and making sure I am okay. I have really appreciated the phone calls. Thank you Nikki, Katie, Mindy, Sara, and Kylee for visiting me in the hospital. I don't think you'll ever know how much those visits helped.





I am thankful for my mom who came the week before all of this happened and helped me without knowing get ready for it. She cleaned, cooked, watched Madeline, woke up in the early hours to take Madeline from me so I could sleep, she helped me get a lot of rest and I don't think my body would have made it through this without that week.

I am thankful for my wonderful husband. I am thankful for the priesthood and for the blessings that he is able to give me. I am thankful for his strength. He stayed by my side through it all. He spent sleepless nights at the hospital with me, helping me. He was there when I went in to surgery and there when I came out. He has done errands for me, he has gotten me countless glasses of water and gatorade. He is just so wonderful and despite the things that are required of him at work (which is a lot) he put me first. I love him so much and couldn't ask for a more wonderful husband.


(Madeline's sour face...hee hee)

I guess this post is just to say how thankful I am. I think that I have taken having a healthy body for granted. It's amazing how handicapped I feel at this point and it makes me realize how grateful I am for good health to be able to do the things that I do on a daily basis. Thank you to everyone who has helped me through this. I appreciate and love you.

Grandma Becky is in town and where there's Grandma Becky, there's always a camera. Here are a few of the pictures she has taken.... (and the one's above)

Update

I have a lot of time on my hands so I thought I should probably write an update to my last post.

On Friday morning I went in to outpatient surgery to have a D&C. The surgery went well. They put me completely out for it and woke me up when it was over. During the surgery I lost a lot of blood, so much that my blood levels were dangerously low. So...I ended up staying overnight in the hospital so they could monitor me and try to get my blood levels back up. Saturday my blood levels were higher but still low and the pain was awful. Later Saturday afternoon my doctor said it was okay for me to go home and recover. So we left and probably not more than 30 minutes after we got home I got a fever and had to come back in to the hospital. So here I am. It is now Sunday morning and it looks like I could be here until Monday or Tuesday. My doctor has me on an antibiotic through and IV and wants me to be on it for 36-48 hours. I'm still feeling pain but it's getting better everyday.

I feel bad because today is Father's Day. Jimmy's first Father's Day and we're in the hospital. Jimmy is the most wonderful husband and father. I am so happy that Madeline has him as her daddy. He loves her so much. Sleep is something that Jimmy needs to function and while we have been in the hospital he has been so wonderful, everytime Madeline wakes up he gets up with her. I could just watch the two of them together all day long. He is just the best daddy ever. He takes such good care of us and always puts us first. We love him so much! We feel so lucky.

Traumatized

I probably shouldn't share all of the details of my recovery, but I am feeling emotionally drained and sharing might help...so if you don't want to hear all of the bloody details stop right here.

I have come to the conclusion that for me recovery is far worse than labor and delivery. Bring on the contractions and the pushing and save me the epidural for the four weeks afterwards. Keep in mind (those of you who are currently pregnant with your first) that according to everyone my situation is not typical and hopefully will not happen with the next baby.

Here's my situation.... After giving birth the nurses came in and pushed on my stomach like they do to get a lot of the blood out. All was good to go and they moved me into the recovery room. While in the recovery room I sat up and tons of blood came gushing out. I called the nurse who then got nervous at the amount of blood. They (one nurse turned into three) then helped me walk into the bathroom where at least a gallon of blood came gushing out onto the floor. I could tell that this was not "normal" because the nursed started to panic. They called Dr. Cleveland and had him come in to make sure I was okay and he performed a very painful procedure where he pulled out all of the blood clots. All was fine and dandy. When we got home the first few days were fine except for the horrible pain. Then one day I passed a blood clot that was so big it clogged our pipes and we had to call a plumber. Gross, I know. I warned you. I called and the doctor wanted to see me so we went in and he checked everything and it looked fine. He said that sometimes that happens and that I may pass another clot before it's over. A few days went by and sure enough another clot. Soon the pain go to be so bad I could hardly stand or walk. So...back in to the doctor. He checked everything out and sure enough it all looked fine. Pretty much it stinks to be me and just hang in there hopefully the pain will go away. He did give me another prescription for pain medication and we were off. Then later that day another clot and tons of bleeding. So much bleeding it was scary. 10-15 clots later and a ton of blood we went back to the doctor. He pulled more clots out, checked my blood count and now we get to play the waiting game. Good news is my blood count is good. He is doing a complete blood count and will let me know how that looks which will help rule out infection. He put me on some medication that will hopefully help the bleeding to stop or slow down and bad news if it doesn't work within the next 48 hours I will have to go in and have a D&C. That's where we are at. Right now I am pretty doped up on lortab so I'm feeling pretty okay.

Thanks for letting me get that off my chest. I already feel better. For me it's mostly frustrating because I have this beautiful baby who I want to enjoy and be able to take care of and I'm drained because I hurt so bad. I just want it to stop and feel better, so hopefully in the next day or two it will and the D&C will be avoided. Sigh.

Pictures Galore!

We are camera happy around our house. We can't seem to take enough pictures of Madeline. We want to catch every little moment. She seems to change a little every day.


Here are a few of the latest...

My mom made a beautiful blessing dress for our little Maddy. We put it on to see how it fit and she looked absolutely beautiful in it. Thanks mom! Madeline was a good sport with the dress-up game...for a while anyway. hee hee. Just wait until her other clothes start to fit...then we'll really play dress-up!
























Ashes absolutely loves Madeline. Every morning she has to climb up on the crib and look in at her to make sure she's there and okay. It has been so fun to watch the pups with her. We are so happy that they love her.


Just striking a pose


She loves to sleep like this, it cracks me up.


Tiny Madeline and her daddy.

The Many Faces of Madeline

My mom is in town and we are so glad to have her! It has been so nice. We're going to be sad to see her leave.



Things are going great around here. Madeline seems to change little by little every day. She's putting on some chub which I love! I just want to eat her up. She's so wonderful and we are enjoying every minute of her. Even the late night or early morning moments when she wants to be wide awake.

Jimmy had his checkride for the first part of the chinook course today. He's so diligent and studies non-stop. We are so proud of him.

Here are a few pictures of Madeline. She pulls some of the funniest faces.